apni anaa ki
1 / 1: Couplet
ji bhar ke us ke
husn ki tauheen ham ne ki
even today, i soothed
my own ego
by insulting her beauty
to my heart's content
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Interpretation
The confession is precise and merciless. Aaj bhii — "even today, again" — tells us this is not a one-time lapse but a pattern the speaker is fully conscious of. The ego needed feeding, and it was fed — not through achievement or courage, but by belittling someone beautiful. The cruelty of jii bhar ke is devastating: not a careless slight, but a thorough, deliberate, almost luxuriant act of diminishment.
What makes this extraordinary is that the speaker offers no excuse and seeks no forgiveness. There is no majbuurii, no claim that love drove the cruelty. Just the cold ledger: ego demanded, ego was served, beauty was the price.
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Alfaaz Ki Mehfil is a curated space for timeless poetry celebrating words, emotions, and the enduring beauty of expression. From classic Urdu couplets to modern reflections, it brings together generations of poetic voices that speak of love, longing, hope, and the human soul.
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